Loving her was not something you perfected, but how that she beats herself with blame for not making it easier for you. Oh darling ,how that it is her curse to write about you but never see you again.?
She’s sorry that there was a storm within her even on the sunniest of days. Sorrier that she wore her strength and darkness equally well ; She has always been half hell and half goddess.
And now that she look back to old days, she realizes that you loved her but not really , that you were just another pretender who stayed just long enough to mend your ego. You walked way with her heart that was used to your narcissist ways.With twinge in her bosom, she prayed you well every time you shadowed her with your glances of doubt. She did nothing buy heave a sigh every-time you wounded her soul with your obsessing self. Oh boy, must she had the essential courage to mutter “Fuck your pretense” every time you kept her company with your comforting lies, maybe she wouldn’t have turned out to be a mess with a heartbeat as she is.. How foolish of her to be tenacious to turn out to be the lie that he wanted so bad. And baby, do you realize that she changed your name to love and made her heart believe that lie. ?
While you were away , she was drunk on imagination and that has turned out to be her favourite intoxication. She wore only two colours -passion and black. And when she lost it all ; when her soul ripped apart from your indifference, she prayed that she isnt as worthless as your absence made her feel.
You lost her because she wasn’t hard to love or hold, but because she was made out of your absence ; She was born of everything you ignored , the beautiful poetry you read , but failed to comprehend. Or so, the depth of her love yesterday became the depth of her pain today.
Her soul and love was not the hardest to keep ,it was her trust. Yet you broke it. Destroyed her beyond repair. Yes . She can see you . Beyond the plastic smile and effervesce, is a boy ; a wounded soldier who longs to be recognized. She can see you just like someone looks through glass. Maybe this sadness is weakness to you, but you are the weak link to judge a battle you never had to fight ; a battle which she had to fight everyday to survive in this hookup world. Why do you keep coming back to her, like you’ve some unfinished business .? Maybe you do. Maybe her heart keeps calling your name . But isn’t it wonderful that she has grown accustomed to her scars.? She ain’t ripping it open for you to touch it .
And when you decide to give her a shootout on the streets of cynicism and defeat, its not her tears that you’ll see . But look out for fire. But she is not sorry. She deserves a boy who looks into her eyes to catch his breath; Someone who holds out his arms like he’s offering wings.
You ask why.? Because she has cheated herself for so long. Now that she has the blood of a dragon, she ain’t settling for half the skies when she knows that she deserves it all, the heaven too.